Renewed Hope (2011 Week 20 Update)

My Loseit Log says I was down another 1.5 pounds last week. My last recorded weight was 343.2. I have a feeling that may not be entirely accurate -- I wasn't logging food, exercise, or weight for the last two days.

It was my birthday, and my sister was in town to visit and help me celebrate. I did get a fair amount of exercise, walking downtown, walking at the beach, etc, but also probably ate and drank more than usual between birthday cake, birthday cake leftovers, and having a few glasses of wine/beer.

I was worried, being aware of my sister's eating habits. Friday night she got in around 4-ish and didn't ingest anything but alcohol for the rest of the day; I made thin crust pizza and a big healthy salad for dinner and she didn't have any. Saturday morning she had a couple of pop tarts she'd brought with her and a canned coffee drink -- I had made chocolate chip scones for breakfast for a treat, and brewed coffee, she didn't partake. She didn't have anything for lunch, and at my birthday dinner had a single slice of takeout pizza that my parents brought, not even any of the cupcakes we made.

She looked heavier than usual, but not anywhere near overweight. She's probably 5'5" and about 125 pounds. According to heresay she's had trouble with bulimia in the past but insists it's not an issue anymore. I worry about her.

I've written a little bit on here about my struggle with depression and how it relates to getting motivated to move my body around and eat the right things. On Friday afternoon I went and talked to my doctor about my symptoms having gotten worse again. I was nervous about talking to him because he's not a very touchy-feely kind of guy, kind of brusque even, but he just listened to the symptoms I described and adjusted my dose for me. It might take 4-6 weeks to really feel the change but already (maybe just due to hope of change) I'm feeling a little better, more energized and back on track.

I went to the gym today for the first time in month. I've got my next week's worth of meals and exercise planned out. And while I was at the gym I picked up a copy of the current schedule of classes both there and at the pool.

I varied my speed on the treadmill between 2.5 and 3 mph, and was having some low back pain and right knee issues again so I only went for 15 minutes, and then did 15 minutes of weight lifting. I did a lot of yard work today as well so I feel like I've put in a good effort that I can continue to build on.

I think I am going to turn another corner now.

Finals week at school (2011 Week 19 Update)

Last week I was about 2000 calories over at the end, but lost about half a pound. My exercise was all cleaning and yard work.

Tomorrow is my last final for spring semester, and after that I'm anticipating a lot more free time and flexibility for exercise.

I'm still in a low mood, which definitely doesn't help my lifestyle choices. I'm going to see the doctor about it on Friday.

Wish me luck!

Baby steps (2011 Week 18 update)

If I were just to report starting and ending weights I'm up to pounds to 344, which is 2.2 pounds higher than last week...but the reality is I was as high as 348.8 again this week, and I brought it back down to 344. I am frustrated with where I am at right now. But maybe this is a good sign, that little turn around.

I've started up with the whey protein in the morning again. I was 588 calories over budget at the end of the week, which I am working on. I need to start drinking more water again, and I've been learning more about low glycemic foods in physiology class, which would probably help me from doing a blood glucose roller coaster.

I got together with a friend yesterday who also is struggling with weight issues and depression, and I think we are going to start spending more time together and talk about this stuff, which is a good thing.

Reaching Out (2011 Week 17 Update)

I was down 1.2 pounds to 341.8 at the end of the week. I got over 3,000 calories worth of exercise, according to loseit (yardwork, walking, gardening, cleaning) but was well over my food budget (currently around 2500) nearly every day.

I was really anxious all week. I tried reaching out to several friends that I wanted to reconnect with to try to build up my social support system again, with some great results and some not so great. That was probably part of the nerves situation, but the main thing weighing on me was an interview that I had scheduled for this Monday (I've already done it). All week I was hemming and hawing about it, and one night I had a dream about getting the job and then failing at it. I've been through a lot, professionally, lately, so I try to tell myself it's all just nerves and me being a worry-wort, but it is still hard to calm myself and traditionally food is something I turn to when I am stressed.

The interview didn't go very well. It was a 3rd interview with this particular organization and the previous two I felt had gone pretty well but I met the director of the organization at the most recent one and she really rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe she was just having a bad day, or maybe I was being oversensitive, or maybe it really is a situation I should just stay clear of. I need a job, though. I will probably know more later this week.

I mean to go to the gym more over my spring break at school. I did end up getting a fair amount of exercise, especially doing outside chores, but I didn't make it to the gym. Tomorrow... maybe then I can go? I should be done at work at 6:30 and maybe if I brought my gym clothes with me in the car I'd be more likely to actually go. Hmm.

I've got a fair amount of homework to finish still tonight so I'm going to sign off, but will keep trying here and hopefully have a good update next week.